Category Archives: Mizerii

Omoara spiritul Valentine’s Day

„Prosteste-te de Valentines Day, pentru ca meriti!”

by Morella
(Morella, 2006)

Ca sa mai domolim din peltea si din inimioarele in exces, am un antidot:

Platesti de doua ori…CASS

Dupa o luna de cercetari si analize asupra consecintelor, mi-am platit astazi CASS-ul pentru PFA. Am si asigurarea ca urmare a statutului de angajat, asa ca ma voi duce mai des sa imi exercit dreptul de dublu asigurat. Hope not!
„De ce platesc de doua ori pentru servicii pe care nu le folosesc?”

„Obligarea persoanei care realizeaza venituri din contract de munca si PFA, sa pateasca CASS si pentru veniturile realizate pe PFA, este neconstitutionala.”, spune, pe buna dreptate, d-na Mariana C care s-a ridicat din multimea celor care stau in dilemele legale si etice. Cazul il puteti citi pe site-ul Urban Iulian.

Hai sa dam cu semnatul pe petitie, poate s-o schimba ceva: http://www.petitieonline.ro/petitie/anularea_obligatiei_pfa_sa_plateasca_cass_daca_este_si_salariat_-p48025046.html.

In santatatea noastra ciocnim cu CASS!

Human vs. Computer (Bullshit Generators)

E usor a scrie versuri
Când nimic nu ai a spune,
Insirând cuvinte goale
Ce din coada au sa sune. (Criticilor mei, Mihai Eminescu)

„The goal here is simple: reinvent teams with compelling accountability and responsibility for supply-chain and business lines.
We’re going to unleash processes and systems that aren’t working and unleash them so you get the user you need.”
(from Corporate Bullshit Generator)

„revolutionize efficient paradigms, grow plug-and-play ROI, strategize efficient schemas” (Bullshit Generator)

„reinvent dynamic wikis, create user-contributed communities, integrate semantic feeds” (The Web 2.0 Bullshit Generator)

„revolutionize mission-critical schemas, benchmark transparent partnerships, extend revolutionary paradigms” (Web Economy Bullshit Generator)

„… I am confident we are building a stronger organization as it broadens everyone’s opportunity for greater success.” (BS management phrases)

Reclama chipsuri Lay’s

Ati vazut reclama la chipsurile Lay’s, cea care incepe cu „Iti cam place prietenul tau?”?

Pentru cei care nu au ajuns in fata TV-ului sau nu se uita la reclame, am adaugat clipul de pe Youtube.

Urmeaza si intrebarea imediat!

Care este beneficiul pe care il obtii cumparand chipsurile Lay’s?

1. Satisfacerea poftei de produse junk food.

2. Barbatii vor putea alege intre tipe cu silicon (cele care au castigat 2000 E) si tipe cu liposuctii (cele cu operatii de indepartare a grasimilor de pe burta si coapse).

3. Remediu antidepresiv. („Si intr-o zi o sa dea peste prietenul tau, din intamplare. Evident! Iar tu vei ramane singura…”)

Raspunsul dupa o scurta pauza. (ca sa citez din clasicii reclamelor TV)

Update: parodia Lame’s de la HappyFish , gasita pe site-ul lui Zoso.

Mai vrei altceva ?!?

„Anything Else” e o comedie regizata de Woody Allen. Fazele sunt comune comediilor care implica o relatie amoroasa, iar personajele se incadreaza in rolurile de: barbat de tip catelus si oricand disponibil pentru sacrificii, femeie isterica, perfida si eminenta cenusie cu replici despre viata.

David Dobel, interpretat de Woody Allen, este eminenta cenusie in acest caz: „Yoy said it yourself, you’re afraid to sleep alone. That’s the whole story. You surround yourself with this farrage of babysitters, this loving-disabled little sex kitten who’s driving you crazy, the Jew manager, you know? And let me tell you I am of the Hebrew pursuassion, but the guy that handles you is a member of one of the lost tribes of Israel that should have remained lost. And you got this shrink who, like God, never speaks, and like God, is dead. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid. We were meant to be afraid. That’s why you gotta build a survival kit!

David Dobel: Let me tell you, Falk. We live in perilous times. You got to keep alert for these things. You don’t want your life to wind up as black-and-white newsreel footage scored by a cello in a minor key.

David Dobel: Last night I was home alone in my apartment and I conjured up a threesome with me, Marilyn Monroe and Sophia Loren, and it was very very erotic. As a matter of fact if I’m not mistaken, it was the first time those two great actresses ever appeared in anything together.

David Dobel: The pill makes her crazy? Falk, she *is* crazy. The Pentagon should use her hormones for chemical warfare.

David Dobel: Since the beginning of time people have been, you know, frightened and, and unhappy, and they’re scared of death, and they’re scared of getting old, and there’s always been priests around, and shamans, and now shrinks, to tell ‘em, „Look, I know you’re frightened, but I can help you. Of course, it is going to cost you a few bucks…” But they *can’t* help you, Falk, because life is what it is.

Jucarii esec

Pe un canal de televiziune cu desene animate, am vazut ieri doua reclame la jucarii care, din perspectiva mea, sunt un esec de strategie comerciala.

Prima jucarie este un catel bolnav care trebuie ingrijit. Macar in copilarie, copiii ar trebui sa fie lipsiti de emotiile negative.

Jucarie

Al doua jucarie e un caine care saliveaza. Yuck!

Mos Craciun, ai grija ce cadouri le dai copiilor!

Conceptii sociale despre libertate

Sunt multe conceptii despre ce inseamna libertatea intr-o societate.

Parintii nostri considerau ca libertatea vine din starea de fericire, de implinire, atunci cand ai o familie, copii, o casa a ta si un loc de munca garantat pentru toata viata. Cand iti realizezi acest obiectiv prin achizitionarea unui credit bancar sau prin orice alta forma de sclavism mascat, ajungi sa iti spui:

You load sixteen tons, and what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt.
Saint Peter, don’t you call me, ‘cause I can’t go;
I owe my soul to the company store…

(Sixteen Tons, Merle Travis )

Societatea insa e mult mai perversa acum pentru ca in fiecare zi ni se impun, prin diverse metode, nevoi si fericiri artificiale. Suntem angrenati intr-un mecanism al pseudo-capitalismului, primar si salbatic, demn de secolele 18-19, incat avem iluzia ca ne-am dorit intotdeauna sa fim „a working class hero”.

There’s room at the top they are telling you still,
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill,
If you want to be like the folks on the hill,
A working class hero is something to be.

(Working Class Hero, John Lennon)